Tales of Adventure - Stink Mansion

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Form Dheth to Gaargg

"This whole forest is fooked up Gaargg mate. Plants that strangle you, dire wolves that don't eat meat and then transform in to delicate looking woody elves. From where I come from - we can give a young'un a toy doll without it stabbing them to death.... I need a rest."

I don't blame you for not going into that mad house for the second time mind you. I appreciated the help in destroying that smelly eye ball which was taking a bath.. we could definitely need your help in the future too. Kinda glad that Captain 'Don't go in there it's cursed' left us alone... he was a bit of party pooper.

So listen, when we managed to climb through the window that stupid house immediately started to fight back. Some strange dark creatures thudded their way through a door at us, I managed to hurl an axe WHILE BLIND and killed a few. I think the others did stuff too. Explosions everywhere. Reminded me of the Festival of Mage Light in Caer Callidyr...

That house had like a maze of corridors and doors. A bloody cupboard decided to off it's load at us, knives were being hurled and everything... there was that doll again - SINGING! Not like Waxi though... this doll could carry a tune. I got scared for a tiny weeny bit and ran into another room quite mad. I disturbed some watery tart cutting her own wrists in a bath. Can't blame her though... that place stunk and that dolls singing was getting on everyones tits. Seems like everyone was taking baths but they all still stunk... very strange..

Anyway, we beat some more doors down, right up until we found a waiting room?! We didn't wait. A boney pencil pusher told me to come in... so I did. But then that lady with the dark hair pushed her way through me. I was about to take the queue jumper down with my axe but she wasn't real.... probably the only thing that didn't stink in that place.

Remember that evil doll? Well it off'ed a little ghost girl right in front of us before attacking. It thought better of it and tried hiding from us, but we smashed it up good and proper.

So... there we were. Ekermon laughing at a set of double doors screaming that there was some ancient evil or something in the next room. The door was stuck, so Ogok and I pressed hard against it and pushed it open. We nearly tripped over a treasure chest! Full of iron bars. Cheap skates.

Once in the room there was a smelly guy - I think the others called him the general, I got a painting of him the bag... there he was, chilling' on the ceiling. Then there was another smelly woman in the corner. The doors closed, shutting out Ekermon... leaving us to politely introduce ourselves. So I stepped forward and axed her in the face. It tickled her apparently.

Apparently she knew my mate Waxi... that don't surprise me.. he was a dirty little fucker. Only Waxi would have a bird in a place like this. He did like rich chics though...

By the looks we gate crashed some fooked up bondage party. Guy on the ceiling with lots of slithering ropes, other guys on the floor acting dead, then standing up, then becoming dead again. The lady was tall... laughed a lot, great sense of humour... if she washed more, I might have invited her out for a cocktail in the Silvery Sprite. However I don't like Waxi's sloppy seconds, so I let my axes do the talking for me this time.

Tough old bird. I was swinging for almost a full minute until the rest of them joined me. I was about to finish her off when that doggie torn off her arm... normally I'd back-hand someone for stealing my kill... but the dog looked so cute. Arrrrr.

After that, we checked the place out. Found plenty of loot left over from unlucky travellers and adventurers. Poor bastards. We made out like bandits though. All of us.

That diseased bint's name was Gertrude. Vill from the Silvery Sprite said that Waxi was asking about a lady called Gertrude before he came here with the others. Maybe they are the same bird? I'll have to ask around. If I find the time..."

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